Reimagining Together: How Do We Gather Now?
The Gathering Makeover.
The way we gather has been changed forever. How do we re-engage?
A few weeks ago, I received a note with the following subject line: “leaving the cocoons.” A friend was gathering her team after 16 months apart and wanted some advice. Should they mark their time together in a specific way? Should they plan a special activity or just practice talking again? What were others hosting similar “first gatherings” learning? After all that has transpired in this pandemic era, how do we now re-enter?
After more than a year of avoiding in-person gatherings, for those of us in the US, the world is beginning to re-open. And as it does, we have a once-in-a-generation opportunity to deeply think about and shape how we might gather again.
In conflict resolution, there’s a term we use to name the moment when a group has been through a transformative experience and needs to prepare to go back out into the world: re-entry. Re-entry is the process of helping a group reflect on an experience, make meaning of it, and integrate it so they can choose what to bring with them to shape their future worlds.
In emailing me, my friend clearly already sensed that this “first gathering” may require a bit more from her in some way. Each of us, in the coming weeks, may also find ourselves inadvertently hosting (and guesting) all types of moments of re-entry: That first in-person cycling class, the IRL choir rehearsal, a dinner party where you meet (gasp!) strangers. And as you do, here are some principles that can help a group navigate moments of transition:
Acknowledge the moment. I recently went to my first in-person yoga class, and the instructor began by saying something like, “For 16 months, I’ve been alone in this studio. And to now have all of these bodies back here together on mats is both beautiful and overwhelming.” She paused. And we all felt it. She continued: “And I’m also thinking, do I bring all the different, crazy experiments I’ve been doing alone for so long now here to you?” (We laughed and hoped she would.) She named her experience, and therein doing, also allowed us to also acknowledge ours.
Center the physical space. Be it the first moment back in the office, entering a theater, or heading back into a school, give people time to just walk through all parts of the building again. On Zoom after Zoom, we haven’t had doorways or carpets or conference tables or shared kitchens. Don’t underestimate the sheer power of allowing people to come and walk through a space together again for the first time.
Capture their fresh eyes. If we take the example of my friend, what if, on arrival, she were to hand each colleague a watering can and a pair of scissors and ask them to just walk through the office and notice what needs watering, trimming, or recycling? (And then perhaps extended the metaphor over a meal to ask what about the way they work needs watering, tending, or recycling?)
Carve out time for reflection. She could ask folks to bring two objects: one that symbolizes a part of the pandemic era they can’t wait to be rid of, and one they want to integrate into this new time. Share the stories of each object over a meal.
Go slow, allow for unexpected emotion, and it’s totally OK if it’s awkward. (It most likely will be!)
There are a million ways to re-enter. Think about your group. Think about what they most need. Is it a gentle comeback? Is it a ripping off of the band-aid? Is it something in between? The key right now is to simply know that we are each, as guests and as hosts, navigating a moment that we can shape.
Inspirations
Dare to Lead with Brené Brown: A Meeting Makeover
I sat down with Brené Brown again, this time for a two-part episode, on her Dare to Lead podcast. We talk all things re-entry and I even give her a meeting makeover for one of her team meetings. She was very brave.
A Ritual For What We’ve Learned and Lost in Covid
I enjoyed this thoughtful guide from Ritualist and the Joy List about how to discuss and heal with our people from the pandemic. It's free and you can download it here.
A Reflection on Meals, Growing Up, and Gathering
Thessaly La Force pens a beautiful, meditative essay on The Dinner Party.
My friend, Mo Mullen, the advisor, entrepreneur, and leadership development expert has launched Close to Home Studios. In her first project, she talks with local small business owners about what they’ve learned and how they’re navigating this moment.
